Only my condemnation injures me.
My condemnation keeps my vision dark
and through my sightless eyes
I cannot see the vision of my glory.
Yet today,
I can behold this glory…
and be glad.
A Course in Miracles - Lesson 218
I was woken up by a phone call this morning at 2:30.
That's the thing I like the least about my job - the periodic on-call responsibilities that sometimes mean being shaken from a warm, peaceful slumber and rudely dumped back into the cold world of all things analytical and logical.
The thing is - I wasn't even on call! Merely the first to respond as our operations center went down the list of people in our department.
Now in that moment, as I reached for my phone to answer, I had a choice;
Be surly and short with the person on the other line. Fix the problem, the whole time resenting the sleep I am missing. Curse the on-call person who had their phone off or on silent. Curse the person who made a change that brought this on. Complain to my manager about the whole situation. And in general, be miserable all day.
Or, answer as kindly as possible. Get on the computer. Find the problem and address it the best I can. Graciously call back and go through the steps to resolve the issue. And enjoy a delicious hour of sleep before waking up to a beautiful day unfolding with infinite possibility.
When I write it out like this, It seems like no choice at all!
But so many of us don't even see that there was a choice!
I know that's how I treated these responsibilities at one time. As an imposition on my time. A “necessary evil” that comes with having a good job.
Our ego-driven minds lash out and attack everything around us. But in our thrashing about, we end up only hurting ourselves.
If I had taken that route today - the way of the ego - I would have missed something very special.
I got to meet a wonderful lady from Wisconsin. I learned how she moved there from Michigan almost 20 years ago. I was able to help her through learning a new procedure in the support role her company provides for our business. I think I even put a smile on her face. And maybe even helped her have a better day today.
And if I had missed out on that, because I was too blinded by my ego to see straight, well, that would have been a shame.
Not Good Enough
We go around judging, constantly judging - everything and everyone -even ourselves. And in almost every case we find lack, “if only”, “not good enough”. Like the old lady in the Shel Silverstein poem - “Almost perfect, but not quite".
The ego would have us believe that we release our pain and guilt by this judging, but it only makes our suffering worse.
Let go of your need to judge, to find fault, to condemn.
Give it to God.
Sacrifice it on His Altar, and it will be altered. Turned into dust by the Holy fire of His Grace and reformed into Love.
God does not condemn his Son. He loves Him.
Neither should you condemn, but Love.
Love like your father does.
Without judgement, without blaming, without condemnation.
Lift the veil of darkness, and witness the glory of the Kingdom!
Blessings, my Love!
Aaron
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The High Cost of Condemnation