My daughter Lauren has just entered her 37th Week of pregnancy(!)
I’ll tell you that it’s been a rough go for her - having had morning sickness from day one (I honestly don’t know how she would have survived without Zofran!) - along with all the aches and pains and all forms of unpleasantness that come with the Miracle of bringing new life into the world.
When she inadvertently got pregnant at the very tender age of 18, abortion was completely out of the question for her, as she had already gone through one and had no desire to go through the awfulness of it again. (Her words, not mine!)
We also raised the idea of adoption, but she couldn’t imagine going through nine months of pregnancy, creating such a deep connection with another being, only to let it go from her life the moment it came into the world.
So my wife and I came to terms with becoming grandparents much earlier than we had envisioned. Now, as we eagerly anticipate the arrival of our first granddaughter, I have become acutely aware of the current political climate of this country.
And so I find myself compelled to share my thoughts on the right of women to control their bodies, their fates, and the fates of their unborn children.
Monsters?
Opponents of abortion would have you believe that women like my daughter turn into monsters in the 39th or 40th week of pregnancy and will decide to terminate their pregnancies out of no other reason than selfishness and cruelty.
And so, under the subtext of preventing the creation of monsters, they would instead seek to make women into mice in a lab, forced to go through whatever procedures are deemed “medically necessary” to ensure the birth of their child. Biological incubators, instead of human beings with autonomy over their bodies.
There was a time when I was appalled by the idea of late-term abortions. I thought that we had to put a limit somewhere.
I had no argument over the thought that women had the right to terminate an unwanted pregnancy early on, for their own benefit, and the benefit of society at large. (which incidentally was - if not proven, then at least suggested, - to be so by the precipitous drop in crime after Roe v Wade was passed - a fact conveniently ignored by proponents of forced birth1).
But I believed that at some point, the rights of the unborn child took over.
There was even a time - when I was much younger - that I was horrified by the notion of abortion at all - particularly with the very young age of my mother, and the thought that she could have chosen differently, and I wouldn’t even exist.
But then I was even more horrified at the notion of abortions performed under unsafe conditions with coat hangers and other such devices, and it changed my thinking forever on the subject.
What I have learned recently, is it there are valid reasons why awful decisions like these are made. There are instances - like sepsis and ectopic pregnancies - where a decision has to be made between one of two lives.
It’s an unspeakable decision. But at least there is a decision to make. Or at least they used to be.
More and more women are now finding that they don’t have a choice in the matter. That they have no power to decide whose life is more valuable.
The number may not be high. It is not zero. They do exist. Things are not nearly as black and white as “pro-lifers” would suggest. And if even one woman is forced to undergo any procedure without her consent, it is no less wrong. No less unspeakable. No less intolerable.
A Real-Life Handmaid’s Tale?
The current attack on women’s rights is nothing but a power grab under the guise of morality. A deprivation of rights in the name of righteousness. A brazen and deplorable attempt to make women second-class citizens, like the future we have been forewarned of by Margaret Atwood and others.
Life is valuable. Life is precious. Life is worth protecting. And I know that I do not want to be the one deciding whose life is more precious, or how far another person must go to protect life. I can’t imagine how anyone else could want that responsibility either.
Women have been making these horrific decisions between their lives and the lives of their children for centuries. They are fully capable of making those decisions. And they should be the ones making those decisions.
All I know is that I can’t imagine what it would take at this point for my daughter to decide to end the life of the child growing inside her.
But if it comes to that, I want her to at least have that choice.
The question then is who are the true monsters?
And who are the true mice?2
Thanks for allowing this departure from my usual, more inspirational content. I hope you found it insightful and thought-provoking - and yes, even inspirational!
For a nuanced discussion of the link between abortion and crime see
https://freakonomics.com/podcast/abortion-and-crime-revisited/
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Of Monsters, Mice, and (Wo)men